Fifty Shades of Grey

Ummm.. Uuhhh.. Aahhh.. Arrghhh.. Ouch… Hmmm…

Wait! Am I sounding as if I am having carnal pleasures? I guess I need to express myself in a better way. These are the six shades of emotions I have passed through while completing this particular firang version of Kama Sutra. Let me brief these six stages in a better way.

  1. Ummm… I pick up this book to read (more than a year ago!) I wonder if this book lives up to the hype and sensation created. I read about some literature student Anastasia Steele interviewing multimillionaire hunk Christian Grey.

  2. Uuhhh… Sparks fly between these two. They both want something from each other. The girl wants love. The guy wants sex. He wants her to sign a contract with terms and conditions.

  3. Aahhh… The guy showers gifts, presents, money, clothes (you name it and she gets it) and so on, just to impress the woman. He stalks her at every possible place where she visits and hopes that she signs the contract.

  4. Arrghhh… They have sex at every possible place, may it be a bedroom, bathroom, playroom, washroom! Jeez… Enough, dude!

  5. Ouch… She asks him to hurt her. He hurts her. She is petrified! She hates him, hates herself for daydreaming about they both being a couple.

  6. Hmmm… She leaves him, his gifts, his apartment and everything that reminds her of him. End of the story and I heave a sigh of relief!

Plot: Do I need to write about the plot? I have practically written the whole story through my six shades of emotions! Okay. I haven’t written about any supporting characters like Ana’s best friend Kate, her mother, her ‘fathers’, her friend Jose the photographer. Christian’s family, his bodyguard Taylor, Mrs Robinson aka Elena. Never mind about that! It doesn’t matter what are other people doing in this plot.

My Take: I am confused! Is there sex in the story? Or is there a story in sex? I have been putting off this book many times for one sole reason, too much of sex and hardly any interesting story! This book should have been renamed either Fifty Places For Sex or **Fifty Ways (Positions) Of Sex!

** (By the way, did I mention that Mr Grey carries a packet of condoms in his pocket, all the times?)

Peace, Poetry and Power

Bhavin Shah